geeneelee

Speaking French doesn’t make Revachol alternate universe France. There IS an alternate universe France, it’s called Suresne and they colonized Revachol.

ghostlypawn

sketchdeath

literally sleeping on a barbecue sauce

seat-safety-switch

Do you like jigsaw puzzles? What if only half the pieces were there, and you had to make your own pieces to fill in the missing spots? What if some of the pieces that are there are corroded beyond recognition, or a little thin, or got dented by a Hyundai Genesis GV80 3.5T Prestige AWD? That’s basically what being a bodyshop is like.

When you buy a new car, chances are that the body shop can get new parts for it. They’ll call up the dealership, order some fenders. For really nasty jobs, they’ll call up the dealership and order repair panels. These are basically the chunks of metal that your car was originally made out of, and all the bodyshop has to do is cut out some spot welds (or glue) and slap that thing together with the new parts, after giving the rest of the car a few ugga-duggas with the frame machine.

When you have an old, shitty car like all of mine, you can’t do that. In some (most) cases, the company that made them no longer exists. At best, maybe you can get some ill-fitting reproduction panel from whatever Luxembourger holding company is currently producing quasi-legal clones of the car for the Chinese market, and spend a few weeks getting it to fit. In the end, no matter what, you’re going to end up fabricating your own panels.

This is one of those skills that looks very easy on YouTube, like brain surgery, but is in fact incredibly difficult, like making an omelet. While your car’s doors may look flat to you, each and every one of them have hundreds of subtle curves that need to be reproduced, or things will look super weird. You will dip into a sort of makers’ mania in the months it will take you travelling through the hell of making a replica panel. Piles of cardboard, razor-sharp chunks of unused steel, and elaborate new metal-cutting tools will fill your work area. And when it’s all done, you will get your reward: having to fill, sand, and paint your great work, hopefully only once.

All of this is a huge pain in the ass, so I’ve chosen a third option, between “develop a spectrum of artisan’s skills and a lifetime of experience” and “buy a new car.” It’s called Bondo, and you can slather that shit on all day. If you put on a couple inches of it and cut it back, your car will look pretty much identical to one that was repaired properly. At least for a couple years.

Sure, body shop technicians will know, but their curse is to know everything about every car. Plus, the skill set for sculpting an entire car out of Bondo is more transferrable: art galleries are not full of precision-cut quarter panels for a 1988 Mercury Topaz.

tgirlgaming

the last monster truck has died in captivity

coldbluebirdchaos

roxylalonde

scoobydoomistakes

There’s a bear statue outside the hotel wearing sailboat pajamas.

I like him very much.

That’s the full extent of the story. You may keep scrolling.

–Colin

thesokovianaccords

here’s the thing about adulthood-

you will go for like three months with nothing happening and you’re bored as hell and then in the span of two weeks eight different things happen at once - some fantastic and some shitty and some just plain bonkers - and you’re just running around like a chicken with your head cut off and no clue what the fuck is going on

perkwunos

fishmech

this is funnier with the context of the video title:

This 1996 PC Was Obsolete Before You Got It Home: AST Advantage 622

but it absolutely was someone’s favorite computer as a kid because they only knew a new computer came home and that’s beautiful